My Life on the E List

I stuffed my bra once in sixth grade, lots of rumors spread and that was the end of my wanting big boobs. Be careful what you wish upon yourself. I turned 16 and in the course of a year went from a B cup to a C cup and the next thing I knew I was an E cup. E! That is a letter off the charts, and Victoria’s Secret has kept me out of the loop for years. To top it off I am a 34 around, have been since that very same year I ventured into the fifth letter of the alphabet. 34E, the hardest bra size to find next to 36A.

I have been told I should be thrilled because most women would love to be well endowed. I will let you in on a little secret, when they are naturally that large they are not perky, they weigh a few pounds, they enjoy spilling out of any attractive bra, and love leaving dents on the tops of your shoulders. I am 25 and have never worn a bra that is not a nude color (large busted women don’t enjoy pretty bras, naturally) or one that has straps that are at least 2 inches thick. I can’t wear strapless anything or straps that resemble spaghetti, forget comfortable sports bras, and don’t get me near two-piece swimwear. Oh but they do come with fun nicknames, my personal favorite from high school was big boobs McGee. Teenage boys should not be given so much testosterone. After almost ten years I decided I was not going to cry over spilt boobs anymore.

I had played with the idea of a breast reduction since the day I put on my first grandma bra at the wise age of 16, but being that I was still growing it was not an option. Just about anyone who knows me will remind me I have mentioned the words, “breast reduction” at some point in our friendship and when I began my body transformation I knew the idea was creeping up again.

Why don’t I lose the size when I lose weight? Excellent question! You can burn fat, you cannot burn off glands and my breasts have little to no fatty tissue in them. Through my freshmen fifteen and back again I never saw a difference in their size, no bigger but no smaller.

Long story short: my surgery date is September 22. That is a mere 13 days and counting until these suckers can no longer be stubborn. More on the road to surgery in the next post, it was not as simple as making a cleaning appointment at your dentist. But I am in the home stretch and nothing is keeping me from this finish line.

xoxo,